Eugenio hombre rico

A Eugenio le tocaron varios millones en la lotería y decidió gastar todo en pasar un buen rato:

Hace poco hubo una reunión en EEUU en la que esperaban a un viajero del tiempo. Decían que, si los había, que algno fuera a ese lugar a hablar con ellos.

Por supuesto, no llegó nadie.

La idea de Eugenio fué la siguiente:

Fabricó billetes de dolar con la efigie de varias personas españolas, cogió un avión y fué al lugar donde se celebró esa reunión. Allí se hizo el desorientado y fué a preguntar al primer lugareño con su acento de matapozuelos:

-Jelou.
-Jai.
-I was looking for a... reception to travelers from the fiuchar. duyunou?
-The fair for time travelers! Yes, but it was last year.
-Last year? Noo. In my data it said that... oh godness.
-Yes yes... last year.
-Do you know who planned it?
-No... a guy with a.. errr.
-Stop stop, errr. Can you introduce me the person do you consider is the most probably person to meet the organizator?
-The organizer?
-Whatever! Please, I am hurry, please, please.

El señor llevó a Eugenio hasta un chico que conocía al que lo organizó todo, Eugenio entró con un empellón en casa de este último y le preguntó:

-Why you are not in the convention? It was supposed to be today.
-What convention?
-The convention of the time travelers!
-That was long ago!
-Godness... our information it´s not very accurate. Hear me son: I am the traveler.
-Oh heavens... please, I have not time for this, get out of my house.
-Shut up and listen me: This is very important. Bush president is gonna blow EEUU
-EEUU? What´s that?
-Errr. USA.
-What the heck I am doing listening to you. Get out of my house!
-Noooooo. You have to help me to avoid Bushes being elected.

El fulano, entonces, quedose un poco quedo..

-Bushes has been elected years ago... We are at the end of the presidential period of the last.
-SEVEN? It´s impossible... godness. Then my trip changed everything.. but.. oh godness. I don´t know if I am lost in another temporal line or if I changed everything... In my country, when we must to think we open a beer and watch Tv. Give me a Mahou!
-It´s a beer?
-It´s THE BEER. You have not?
-No. I have not.. I have this.
-Well... I suppose.
-Wait. If you want me to believe you you have to tell me things about the future.
-It´s easy- Dijo Eugenio rápidamente, como si se lo supiera de memoria - Spanish parlant countries was united in a big coalition: Cuba, Venezuela and Bolivia first, then Mexico, then another countries of the south of America, then Portuña, and at last the latest countries in Latin america. Then
-Wait! What´s Portuña?
-Oh, yes.. It´s Spain and Portugal. It´s only a country now.
-Oh.. ok. Continue.
-Well Then they were the most wealth, big and powerful country in world. Spain, in the middle between the south of America and Europa was the capital city. China fell before wake and is as Russia is now
-You speak in a strange manner.
-I know, I only speak spanish, english is not very used. Well, the Spanish states made a defense system to avoid the continuos threats of the Bushes of being nuclear bombed
-The bushes?
-Yes... the presidents, you know
-No. I don´t know.
-Bush twins..
-I think you are wrong. There is only a Bush as president.
-Then I changed it too... You know? It´s the first time travel and probably the last. Politicians, people and scientifics are still very scared of this. We don´t know nothing about it and it´s fucking damn expensive. We was not sure about if it would work or if I will travel to the exact place and the exact moment... Imagine that the earth would be in other place rounding the sun... Oh god, all that effort and risk for nothing. Can you see me a photo?

El chico googleo y le enseñó una foto.

-Godness. I am not late. This is the guy of the notes.. It´s a dead president.
-Can you xplain this?
-This is George Bush, the father of the twins Bush, the presidents of USA.
-Heavens.
-The story finish in that the Bushes attacked the Spanish states and our defense system destroyed USA. I am here to save you. But I can´t make big changes, I can´t stay here, because if I stay here I can change everything with my knowledge. I am going to live in a lost place of a dessert. I can´t say you what dessert... And I can´t tell you how I am going to live. It´s new technology even for us. It cost a million of pesetas, the salary of three months of a middle-classed family. You have to avoid them to be elected to save USA of us. Good luck. I think you still believe in Yaveh, then may Yaveh be with you.

Eugenio dejó la casa y se fué, sin más. El chico quedó consternado.

Al día siguiente, Rael llamó:

Where is Eugenio? He changed everything. It´s everything full of... green ostrich eggs.

Dos meses después, Rael y Eugenio se partían el culo recordando la cara del chaval.
Un año más tarde, el chico daba conferencias sobre viajeros del tiempo y los peligros de la familia Bush.